Phantom of the Opera Mask

from Phantom of the Opera Mask (single) by Brandi Ediss

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about

Hi pals.

Sept. 3rd is my 41st birthday. It's also the day of my mom's memorial service. It's *also* Bandcamp Friday. I didn't necessarily want all of these things to happen on the same day, but let's make the most of it, hm? 😬

So, this is...uh...you might not be expecting...um...okay.

Please know this is an extremely ridiculous limited-edition single for an extremely specific audience, and that's fans of Kevin James Thornton, a comedian/storyteller from Tiktok/Instagram. On a whim, I decided to turn one of his most iconic stories into an earnest piano ballad and it went viral, garnering comparisons to Taylor Swift, Phoebe Bridgers, Lucy Dacus, and Ben Folds, to name a few! A lot of folks asked where they could buy the single, so for one day only, you can! Right here!

**Please note that Kevin's story is about a first date gone wrong, so there are some adult themes here! Did I ever imagine I would belt out "I'm a whore" in three-part harmony? No. Do I regret it? Also no.

lyrics

went on a date with this guy
who said he was a painter
and that art was the most
important thing in his life
and I thought, wow, that's beautiful
oh yeah, that's beautiful

so after dinner, we went back
to his apartment, cuz
I'm a whooooore
and when we walked in,
there was one of his paintings

and it was just
a bunch of random squiggles
and in the middle,
he had hot glued
a Phantom of the Opera mask

and I thought
wow, this might be
the worst painting I've ever seen
but instead I said
wow, that's so good
and when we went back
to his room
he had a bowl full
of condoms and lube
like it was the
damn gay community center

and then we did it,
and it was actually pretty good
but not like
Phantom of the Opera mask good
and then I knew

I realized
that if I dated this guy
I'd have to pretend that I
liked his paintings
and I knew
I couldn't do that
oh no, I couldn't do that
oh no

credits

from Phantom of the Opera Mask (single), track released September 3, 2021
Brandi Ediss: piano, vocals, production
Adapted from a story by Kevin James Thornton and authorized for release

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about

Brandi Ediss Northampton, Massachusetts

Rhymes with lettuce.

"Lush, lovely, smart and compelling start to finish." -Chris Collingwood (Fountains of Wayne/Look Park)

“This is really good. I’m sold.” -A.C. Newman (The New Pornographers)

“What a gorgeous and deceptively effortless-sounding collection of perfect songs.” -Philip B. Price (Winterpills) ... more

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