Lost Year (demo)

by Brandi Ediss

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Here's a demo I wanted to share with you. Free (+ your email addy) or pay what you want.

In May 2021, just a few months after my husband and I closed on our first house, I went back to my childhood home in NJ to help my mom as she underwent cancer treatments and ended up being her primary caregiver until she passed away a few months later. The experience nearly broke me, and my transition back home to Western Mass was difficult. As I dealt with my mom's estate, I found myself with a little financial wiggle room, which was useful as I navigated the myriad time-sucking administrative tasks that come with being an executor (while also grieving! Cool.), but it also made it very easy to sink into depression and torpor. If I'm being honest, I'm still not fully back? But I'm better. Anyhow, that's where this song comes from.

A more complete and polished recording may exist eventually, but this one is just my husband Frank Padellaro on bass and me on all the other stuff, warts and all. xo.❤️

lyrics

What would you do if your money was endless
Think through all the plans that you'd make
Free to leave the world of the working
This one wild and precious life, yours now to take

Rewind, to the things that have been on your mind
Since you were a kid in a line,
In a world of your own
Imagine your life now the way that you did

Well, I might've thought I would finally get out there
I'd travel the world and fulfill all my dreams
Instead I just fly from the couch to my bedroom
Lit up by the comforting glow of my screens
Doing nothing

All grown up now, got a house and a husband
So how could it still be this hard?
Oh well! Gotta go, I've got plans
To not wash the dishes or tend to my yard

It's one thing to take time out to grieve, cuz it stings
And it's hard just to be a human being
But I'm glued to the floor
Cocooned in inertia, so safe and secure

And I could make friends in the town that I live in
(I could make friends)
And actually make plans to see them somehow
(see them somehow)
I could volunteer, cuz I like helping others
Or I could just sit here like I'm doing now
And do nothing

Doing nothing

(instrumental break)

And if I'm just lazy, at least there's a reason
A way to explain why I've nothing to say
I stay up too late and I'm eating my feelings
And all the momentum I had went away
Cuz I can't will the sureness to fake til I make it
(can't....fake til I make)
Mistakes and misgivings are all magnified
(all magnified)
Embarrassed by every last cell in my body
The weather is perfect, but I'll be inside

Doing nothing
(doing nothing)

credits

released December 15, 2023
Brandi Ediss: music, lyrics, lead and backing vocals, acoustic guitar
Frank Padellaro: bass

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about

Brandi Ediss Northampton, Massachusetts

Rhymes with lettuce.

"Lush, lovely, smart and compelling start to finish." -Chris Collingwood (Fountains of Wayne/Look Park)

“This is really good. I’m sold.” -A.C. Newman (The New Pornographers)

“What a gorgeous and deceptively effortless-sounding collection of perfect songs.” -Philip B. Price (Winterpills) ... more

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